The Battle

(Warning: Disgusting and Overly Dramatic *with pictures)

The giant centipede comes first, sliding it's way across the floor, tiny legs creeping forward in unison. It's speed is remarkable. It runs past my bare foot, up the wall onto the door and pauses in the shadow, it's arching antennas search the air. Something has to be done. I consider relocating it into the backyard but I'm certain it'll be back. It has to die. I throw a book at but it won't die, it keeps scuttling along trying to escape while oozing something yellow-green. Eventually I bring it to the ground, it's body nearly severed, twisting and writhing. The battle is over, one fewer giant centipede. Somehow I don't feel any better.
... And then I go into my kitchen to clean up and I see this.
This disgusting giant spider in full daylight, I had to get my camera. After a couple photos it spider sensed me and took off running... fast. Faster than that damned centipede. "Oh well" I thought "at least it's outside".

Two hours pass... darkness falls.

I step into the kitchen and hit the light, something flies across the floor, up the stove and hides behind the burners. I attack with my newspaper weapon but he's too quick and escapes. The previously innocuous items on my kitchen table become projectile weapons and giant spider is knocked upside down. I approach to check if he's dead but of coarse he's not and in typical villain fashion he makes another run for it. After I finally destroyed him I took a closer look an realized that this was no ordinary spider. It was in fact a a face-grabber from the Alien movies as can be clearly discerned in the picture below.